Super Bowl Party Trifecta

Derek Dimino, Staff Writer

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Yes. It’s the Christmas of Football. While you may not be sweating it out on the field with some of your favorite players, you may be sweating over how to celebrate it.


With this in mind, we devised three essential components to perfecting the Super Bowl party. It’s called the Super Bowl party trifecta. Its made up of these components: make sure you watch it on a big screen TV, make sure you watch it with your friends, and make sure there are copious amounts of food and beverages.


For all of us who couldn’t make it down to Houston for the big game, watching it on the biggest screen possible is the next best thing. Watching the Super Bowl on a big screen amplifies every action on the field. From every penalty, to a questionable play call, to provocative touchdown dances, everything is enhanced to the Nth degree. We can see every angle of a controversial catch, or the millisecond between when a fumble occurred and when a runner’s knee was down. We can even feel the intensity of the game better by seeing more of the player’s or crowd’s reactions.


Luckily for football viewers across Oneonta, there are plenty of restaurants that can satisfy their customers big screen viewing pleasures, especially for the Super Bowl. Of course, if you’re broke like most college students, watching it from home or at a buddy’s house will be the cheaper and more likely option.


If you’ve decided that your television is worthy to broadcast the Super Bowl from home or if you’ve found somewhere suitable, the next step to completing the trifecta is getting as many friends as you can to come over for the blood bath. Unless New England or Atlanta is your favorite team and your friends are going to be jerks the entire time, there is no reason to spend the game alone. Get as many friends as you can who are willing to spend the next four hours with you feeling each hit, criticizing commercials, and yelling at the refs, coaches, and players through the TV screen.


Watching the game with friends is almost always better. The largest stage in football is the perfect place for big plays to occur, but if you watched it alone, did it really happen? With a group of friends, you’re given the opportunity to commiserate with one another about a bad call or trash talk about each other’s psychic claims of the game’s future and fate. This also offers a chance for you to show someone not as interested in football how great the sport really is (besides all the head and neck injuries). So grab some friends and hunker down in front of a TV for the competition of the ages.


Lastly, and arguably the most important component of the Super Bowl party trifecta is the food. The keys to good super bowl food‘s are they need to be hot (temperature and/or spice), the cheesier the better, and they should contain enough grease to hospitalize a small child. Fortunately, the large majority of football fans are not particularly fussy about their food, so your options are vast.


Some of the staple Super Bowl party food include buffalo wings, pigs in a blanket, pizza, mozzarella sticks, pizza bites, full-and-slider-size hamburgers, hotdogs, mac n’ cheese, potato or macaroni salad, and nachos.


Another must-have at any party is chips. That being said, these chips must be durable enough to satisfy a viewer’s need to scoop the salsa, guacamole, buffalo chicken or French onion dip, etc., without snapping, simultaneously crushing the holder’s dreams of delicious enlightenment. We’re talking to you, Tostitos Cantina chips. Good or not, these chips get a zero on the durability scale. There are two types of people in this world, people who dip their chips and those who scoop them, and frankly if you do not scoop with your chips we probably won’t get along.


If you can perfectly combine the three essential components of the super bowl party trifecta, you can rest assured that you will have a successful Super Bowl experience. Just remember to stay hydrated with plenty of liquid to wash down all of the artery-clogging food. No one wants to watch the game winning catch in a hospital bed.

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