Jeannie Nielsen, Contributing Writer
Kardashians: Did anyone really expect Kim K. to have a lasting, meaningful marriage? No! Her fame started after a sex tape was ‘accidentally’ leaked and a show that chronicled her family’s trivial affairs was born. Barbara Walters even told the clan “you have no talent.” I wouldn’t want to argue with Barbara.
Vampire Obsession: Will this ever end? Twilight, True Blood and Vampire Diaries have managed to make fangs and blood-drinking appear to be sensual by giving vampires pretty faces. Spoiler alert: Girls, even if he’s attractive, he’s a vampire and wants kill you for your blood. Still doesn’t matter? I guess those self-esteem workshops in junior high failed.
Pabst Blue Ribbon: Hipsters, I’m on board with the flannel shirts. The Buddy Holly-esque glasses are cute. But please, please, please stop pretending that PBR is good. Class it up in 2012, toss out that watery musk and cough up a little extra cash for Heineken or at least Bud Light.
Jersey Shore: You’ve done it again MTV. You’ve plucked a bunch of people from obscurity and given them a false sense of entitlement while they contribute nothing to society. Job well done. In this new year, let’s put the fist-pumping on hold and pay a little attention to the election, shall we?
Forever Lazy: I thought it was a joke when I first saw the commercial. I don’t know anyone who would wear something that can only be described as a onesie to a tailgating party. Or to a baseball game. Or anywhere that there’s a remote possibility that other people will be present. Seriously, sleepers are no longer acceptable past the age of six. Time to invest in some big kid clothing, eh?
Maxi Dresses: You have to be six-feet tall and weigh 90 pounds to look good in these. Why are they still being designed when only two percent of women can pull it off?
Facebook games: I thought that I had an actual notification, but it’s just an invitation to buy a cow on Farmville. Stop staring at the computer, go outside and make friends.
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