SUNY Sex: The Things Your Parents Didn’t Tell You

Alexandra La Flair, Contributing Writer |

Let’s face it: the majority of us learned much of what we know about sex in middle and high school through good ol’ television, movies, music and most often, each other. The things we heard then were carried to where we all are today—in college. We think we know the truth, but do we really? I investigated these claims.   

I asked one group of males and one group of females, all from different backgrounds prior to attending SUNY Oneonta, to give me some of the myths they have heard and  explain whether or not they thought they were true. Some were common ones I myself have heard before, while others were shocking.

At this point in our lives we may know the truths to one, many, or all of these claims, but reinforcement is key! I listed some of the few I found especially important.

MYTH: The more partners one has had, the better they are at performing sex.

This is very untrue! Someone could have one partner for years and perform “amazingly” while another who have had seven could be clueless. This all really pertains to each person’s likes and dislikes, past experiences, and upbringing. Which brings us to our next myth…

MYTH: More partners means that the person is a whore/has low self-esteem/cannot commit.

Again, this is not only extremely untrue, but downright insulting! The decision to have sex with no one, one person, or more is only up to that individual. Some people love sex. Some people don’t. Some like it with many people at once. Some choose to wait. All that matters is that the participating parties are consenting, safe, and supported.

MYTH: You can’t get pregnant while on your period.

Although it’s difficult, it isn’t impossible to get pregnant on your period. There is never an excuse to not use a condom—unless you’re on birth control with a steady partner—but even then, it’s still very possible.

MYTH: Anal sex and oral sex don’t count as actual sex.

By definition, sexual intercourse is “any physical contact between two individuals involving stimulation of the genital organs of at least one” (Medical-Dictionary).

Penial-vaginal activities and acts of penetration are only a subset of sex. Even oral sex is considered sex, in those terms. The virginity construct influences our perception of sex and enables hetero-normativity. It is believed that women are “virgins” until a male’s penis breaks their hymen. Your hymen can rip the first time you engage in penial-vaginal sex, but it can also rip if you’re an athlete or wear tampons. It may not rip at all, which is why this is a social construct, especially if you are a sexually active woman.

By sharing these myths and finding the cold hard truths, we can all stay safe and have a good time!


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