Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Don’t let that #DailyGrind slip. You’ve been on it for so long that your followers will notice, and you will be judged.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Not having a #MCM / #WCW to post has been bumming you out a little, but I can assure you that your #InstaFood is not filling that gap (on your Instagram or in your heart).
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Cold mornings and hot afternoons are a #Struggle, but it is not an excuse for two #OOTD’s.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
#WayBackWednesday has to be at least a year old to qualify as “way back.” No one wants to see your selfie from last week; you look the same.
Leo (July 23 – August 23)
Your #Motivation, #Dedication, and #Workout routine has you losing followers. Maybe it’s time to #ChillOut or #KeepItToYourself.
Virgo (August 24 – September 22)
#ByeFelicia is never a bad way to end a silly fight within Instagram comments. However it’s a terrible way to end a real conversation… or is it?
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
That #YOLO lifestyle will eventually catch up to you. Try #YOLALAYTCOY (You Only Live As Long As You Take Care Of Yourself) instead.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
#SelfieSunday is a horrible excuse. If you want to post a selfie, you don’t have to wait until Sunday. Own that selfie. #Workit.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
#ThrowbackThursday was not made for you to relive your out-of-the-country trip once a week. We’ve seen the pictures. We know you were there.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
There are worse guilty hashtag pleasures than #PuppiesofInstagram. Like #CatsofInstagram, stay away from those jerks.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
We understand that #BallisLife, but your #Squad needs to learn how to play a more peaceful game of pick-up. The court’s been too intense.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It’s great that you’ve learned to #EatClean, but we don’t need to see it to believe it.