In an environment filled with open minds, the influence of drugs, pressure from the media and young people who have only recently reached an age of sexual maturity, hook-ups tend to dominate college culture. Every weekend is filled with declarations of alcohol-inspired, hormonally driven affection from one individual to another in the hopes of getting them to change their mutual physical state from standing to lying down.
College students think about sex, a lot. According to a study done at Ohio State University headed by Dr. Terri Fisher, men thought about sex 19 times a day on average and women thought about sex 10 times a day on average. Most students, between the ages of 18-25, have just entered a new part of their lives where they are physically and mentally ready to engage in sexual activities. It is absolutely healthy to explore these new thoughts as our bodies tell us it is our time to try sex out. The most confusing aspect of a hook up is the emotion, or lack there of. However, there is no telling how ready someone is for sex in an emotional way.
My fellow guys will say, “You can’t over-think a hook-up, just act.” Over-thinking can let your emotions get in the way of getting that brunette bombshell into your bedroom. Plus, society tells me that I shouldn’t be thinking about emotions at all because it is not part of the male gender role- that’s chick stuff. This type of thinking is dangerous because people should be honest with themselves and not suppress their emotions. There have been situations where I was not honest about my emotions to my partner and myself, and I ended up feeling pretty confused about the situation afterwards. Going into a hook-up with the knowledge that society was pressuring me to forget about my emotions due to my pre-determined gender role left me questioning why I even bothered to listen to society in the first place. I do what I feel is right for me, not what others feel is right for me. So what does this mean for you?
If you are planning on hooking up with someone in the next week or two, I encourage you to take your emotions into account. You may end up confused and maybe even a little off your game. Making out with that random girl or guy might not be as fun as it was last week and you can’t figure out why. It’s ok, it just means you are slowly realizing what has been missing in your sexual life; an expression of physical and emotional intimacy. This may be against what your peers say, but hook-ups should not be emotionless. Two willing individuals should be able to be honest with each other in the bedroom and share a respect for each other’s feelings. I am not saying that you need to be in love for this to happen, or even good friends for that matter. You and your partner can enjoy the experience more if there is a mutual understanding of the consequences of hooking-up. It allows the both of you to focus more on having the best time possible while sharing a healthy expression of your new physical desires.