Horriblescopes

Danielle Rennard- Culture Editor

Aries: The weather is going to be beautiful all week but you have to finish the three papers that are due on Friday that you procrastinated on writing. Good luck.

Taurus: The company that you were supposed to work for over the summer will call you and let you know that they are no longer intersted in hiring you. Guess you should start looking for a new job.

Gemini: You’ll go to use your credit card and it’ll get declined. Looks like you have $1 left in your account. Spend it wisely.

Cancer: As you swerve to dodge a massive pot hole you will hit an even bigger one and pop your tire.

Leo:  You will finally finish your project that you have been working on for weeks and the computer will crash. Of course you didn’t save the file, so it looks like you’re going to have to strart over.

Virgo: Your professor will accuse you of plagiarizing and tell you that you now have no chance of passing the class. Funny thing is you didn’t plagiarize.

Libra:  An unknown number will text you a video of you pole-dancing at The Sip. Should’ve listened to your friend that said tequilla shots never end well.

Scorpio: You’ll post a selfie on Instagram and get zero likes. Don’t worry, you’re still beautiful.

Sagittarius: Finally you’ll go to Moes for the first time and enjoy an amazing burrito. Well, it was amazing until you realized you got food poisioning.

Capricorn: There’s a cat that always follows you around so you decided to take him home. Turns out he has fleas but at least he’s adorable, right?

Aquarius: Your significant other wont talk to you for a week straight and when you finally text them to ask what’s up they respond with: “who’s this?”

Pisces: You decide to spend the day outside and soak up some sun and end up getting sun poisioning. Next time try not to soak up that much sun.